SJM_AskTheExperts_5_24_REG3 . qxp_Pages 5 / 29 / 24 4 : 11 PM Page 1 SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION ask the questions and answers expert COUNSELING ATTORNEY What is Emotional Intelligence and How is Property Distributed in Divorce Why is it Important to My Child ? Proceedings ? Emotional intelligence is what I always refer to A marriage is a joint undertaking and both as the way for an individual to recognize , spouses have a right , or obligation , to share in understand , and manage one’s own emotions assets and debts accumulated during the and those of others . This is crucial to the de - marriage . Therefore , as part of the divorce velopment of any child to be able to navigate process , Courts are empowered to effectuate social situations , communicate and build rela - an equitable , or fair , distribution of all property tionships with others . Children who have high - acquired during the marriage . er emotional intelligence are also better The term “ during the marriage ” generally equipped to cope with stress and adversity . refers to property obtained from the date of When I meet with parents , I always spend marriage through the date of the filing of a di - time building on a few things : that feelings vorce complaint in the Superior Court . There serve a purpose , parents model behaviors , and are exceptions such as some gifts and inheri - the need to regulate their own affect , as chil - tance which may be excluded from distribu - dren will mimic parents / caregivers . When I say tion . that “ feelings serve a purpose , ” it means that The first step for a Court is to identify the a child needs ( for their executive functioning ) assets , and liabilities , which were acquired an emotion coach and someone ( an adult ) who during the marriage , and therefore , subject to can be aware of the child’s emotions . Children equitable distribution . Next , the Court must need to know that even perceived negative determine the value of the assets . Some as - emotions are just as important as the happy sets do not pose much difficulty in the valua - ones as they each have a meaning . tion process , such as bank accounts and in - Parents can foster this by encouraging vestment accounts . Other assets , including open communication with children by having pensions and businesses , are more difficult to one - on - one time daily about their day . Listen - value and may require an expert . ing and validating feelings to help children be Once marital property is identified , and the heard . Taking the time to label and explore value of the property is ascertained , the final emotions , then problem - solving something step for the Court is to actually divide the as - that may feel confusing or new . Having this sets and liabilities between the parties . The one on one time will foster healthy ways of goal of equitable distribution is a fair and just expressing emotions and build emotional in - division of assets , however , in New Jersey , fair telligence . does not necessarily mean “ equal . ” Beautiful Minds Florio Perrucci Steinhardt Cappelli & Jeff Cox , Owner and Director Tipton LLC of Clinical Services Brian Budic , Partner 305 Independence Blvd . 1010 Kings Highway South Sicklerville , NJ 08081 Building 1 , 2nd Floor ( 609 ) 350 - 5007 Cherry Hill , NJ 08034 BeautifulMindsTC.com ( 856 ) 628 - 8377 FlorioLaw.com SOUTH JERSEY MAGAZINE volume 21 issue 2 SouthJerseyMagazine.com | 55