SJM_Big_Daddy_0419_Big Daddy 3 / 28 / 19 9 : 11 AM Page 1 big words by BIG DADDY GRAHAM d ? Big Daddy Graham will be performing at Parx Casino on Wednesday , April 24 . For more information , visit There’s No BigDaddyGraham.com . Place Like Home I couldn’t get to the station in time . It was But I never moved . I could give you a OnThursday night , March now 9 : 50 . lot of reasons why . And most of them 14 , I was on my way home I made the call and WIP immediately would make sense to you . But in the end , from a 94WIP appearance there was just one giant reason : I’m a at a club / restaurant in old me they were just going to go ahead t homebody . Middletown , Delaware . There was a time and get someone to cover my shift , which I used to get depressed when I would when I used to perform at the Wilmington I was not happy about . What if AAA got move . Even if it was just from one part of Comedy Cabaret about six times a year . there in 15 minutes , the problem was South Jersey to Throw in some one - nighters and some easily fixed and I was back on the road another . So here I am colleges and I traveled to “ The First State ” heading home in less than 30 minutes ? I leaving my car — not my glasses , not my so frequently back in the day that the would eventually arrive at the station in wallet , not my phone — but something as fact that Delaware was only about 30 plenty of time . huge as an automobile in a town that I minutes away from Mullica Hill made It’s the uncertainly of it all that’s so have never been to in my life and the it a little more desirable to me when I frustrating when you break down . If the name of the town is Bear . decided to move there . car can’t be fixed , then it’s going to be As Spins and I drove away from the It was 9 : 30 p.m . and I made a wrong towed to the closest station , which means garage heading back to Jersey , a wave of turn , so I immediately made a U - turn . you’re not going to have a way to get depression came over me . Like I was leav - The street was dark and I didn’t realize home . I knew I was at least an hour away ing my sister behind in prison . Like I was that I was about to drive over a curb . and I figured that’s going to be at least a never going to see my car again . And Unfortunately , I also didn’t notice that it $ 100 Uber ride . Not to mention that I even though Bear is barely an hour away , was a very high don’t have an Uber account because , it might as well have been in Iowa . curb . The front passenger I , Route 299 , Route 40 and Route 13 all side tire hit the curb and smacked it uh , have never taken an Uber . ( I know glided by on the way home . What a long , hard and fast . It made a really loud that makes me sound a million years old , stinking night . It wasn’t until we got to crunchy metal noise and when I went but it’s the truth . ) What to do ? the bottom of the Delaware Memorial to reverse it off the curb it felt like I was So I called my best friend , standup Bridge that I started backing up over Arnold Schwarzenegger comedy compadre and ( unfortunately to feel a little calm , in The Terminator . for him ) Mullica Hill next - door neighbor , and I was never so happy to see a sign for I had definitely done something hor - the legendary Spins Nitely . I told him to the New Jersey Turnpike in my life . It was rible to the undercarriage . Lucky for me , be ready to come get me , just in case . like back in the day when you would be this happened right in front of a bank Rick , a very nice guy in his 30s , arrived driving home after a long trip and KYW and I was able to inch the car into the with his flatbed tow truck around mid - would begin to come in on the radio . empty parking lot and out of harm’s way . night , lifted the car , and told me the sus - Home . We were now on 322 . Hello , What was weird was that there was pension arm had snapped and it’s going Rosie’s . Hello , Wawa . Hello , Caliber Colli - no damage at all to the front of the car or to have to be towed to the nearest AAA sion and Inspira Urgent Care , which share the tire . But one thing was for sure , the service station 16 miles away in Bear . the same parking lot . ( That’s kind of like car was unmovable and I was screwed . It Sixteen miles ! “ one - stop shopping ” isn’t it ? ) was now 9 : 45 at night and I was in the I called Spins , gave him the address Now remember , this all went down middle of the repair shop and he agreed to on a Thursday night and my car remained of nowhere because I had never meet me there . Thank God for great in Bear until 5 p.m . on Tuesday . My poor , been to Middletown , Delaware in my life . friends , huh ? lonely car . In Bear ! When I picked my car And I was due to be on the air at 2 a.m . We’re talking 12 : 30 in the up I swear it was so happy to be going So , first things first . I called AAA . I’ve morning now . back to Jersey , I thought I saw a been a member for years and I must say And we still had about an hour drive tear they have rarely left me hanging . They home from Bear when he got there . streaking down its headlights . told me a tow truck should be there in 70 Here’s the point and how it ties into I know how lame this all makes me minutes “ or less . ” South Jersey Magazine . At the beginning appear , but I love where I live . Always Well , I didn’t know it yet , but this was of my comedy career when The Morning have . Always will . And remember , if going to be one of those “ occasional ” Zoo was playing my novelty hits like anyone ever attempts nights when they were not going to be “ Nuns ! ” and “ Let’s Call In Sick , ” I was to bust on South Jersey , there in “ 70 minutes or less . ” I had to often asked when I was going to make always shove it in their make a decision on whether or not I was the big move to Los Angeles like all comics face that we don’t have n going to have to take the night off because eventually do . to pump gas . SOUTH JERSEY MAGAZINE volume 16 issue 1 SouthJerseyMagazine.com 88 |